To do or Not to do…

I know that almost everybody on the blog site is talking about this and I know I am just adding to pantheon of writers who are working themselves up for “the event”. Yes I am talking about NaNoWriMo that begins in November 2012.

I missed the bus last year….I discovered NaNoWriMo in December 2011!(Go figure!…Duh! No I was not sleeping, but many become aware kind of late in life!) What was I doing before that….don’t ask!

Anyway, I am trying to mentally prepare myself for this one month of” literary abandon” as the website states. Having said that, I have like a million butterflies in my tummy…

  • Should I really undertake something like this? I hate failures and need perfection and in such circumstances am wondering if participating in the event such a good idea.
  • NaNoWriMo veterans tell me that I should abandon all other pursuits this one month – no reading of book, no catching up with friends, no laundry and preferably learning to cook with one and type with the other…..I can do all this and more; but what the hell do I do about my job?????!!!! There is absolutely no getting away from the fact I work in a high stress environment where time literally means money….I mean I work in the financial services!!!  So there are deadlines after deadlines and each month is crucial and the business target needs to be met!
  • Whatever I write ends up having a lot of history, so I end up spending a lot of time reading up! The NaNoWriMo veterans again tell me that I should just write the story and not worry about the details…..the only problem no matter what plot I think of, the details make up the story!! Uggh!!
  • Then of course is the daunting fact that I never managed to finish my “the novel” – you know the epic novel, the one which would be held as the novel of 21st century, you know my “East of Eden” yada yada yada! I could not finish this mammoth work though I started working on 2 years ago; what’s the chance I finish writing anything else in one month??!!!!

So here I stand… varying from my chirpy blah blah self and wonder “To do or not to do”! I know it’s not the end of the world if I do not finish 50,000 words at the end of November; I know this is not about any prize money or awards and I think that is what is making me jittery! This is for me …..this to prove to myself that yes I can write and write and see the end of what I imagine in my mind. Like many before me I realize that what we imagine and what we put down on paper are wholly different and I am thirsting to see if what I see in my mind’s eye will turn out that way on paper.

But will I persevere? Or all that is mundane and every day in my daily life takes over as it does and obliterates what I really want to do. But that again I guess would be my choice!

The month of November is then my philosopher’s stone to see if I can survive in my artistic endeavors and become a more accomplished writer! This then is “The month”!

A philosphical debate on man’s fate & the diadatics on action leading to equal and opposite reaction…aka Phew….saved by the bell!

There are some things that are simply fortuitous and in the very hackneyed way, one can say that whatever happens happens for the best. (Hang on! I will get to the particulars after I spend some time on general rhetoric’s) I am strong adherent of this school of thought, though as God be my witness, I am sorely tempted in abandoning this principle of goodwill and sanguine hope many a times. In fact, there are a couple of incidents in my life about which, I am still waiting to find out what this best is/was???? But then, such things do happen that kind of restore your faith and make you realize (albeit kicking and screaming) that there are greater forces at work between heaven and earth and there is a reason behind almost every action.

Now for the particulars –

I realize that I have been off the blog for some time and it is kind of hilarious, when on my Aug 1 post, I claimed that I was writing more this year. However, irony aside, I do believe now that there are some matters that one should never talk about because that invariably leads to tempting the faith! For instance, last year, my mother was getting her house renovated and while clearing the house for the carpenters and decorators to work on, she came to realize that she had over the years collected a huge amount of crockery and cutlery. I do mean huge and not just you more than general, but something to the effect of 77 serving trays!!!! She called me and said that she had no idea when or how she bought so much of stuff and there was a sneaking pride in her voice, when she said that my aunt (a very weird woman who is actually obsessed with material gains) also could not rival her sets. I know I am resorting to clichés, but sometimes they do have a lot of truth in them – in my mother’s case pride did come before a fall!! After the renovation was done, she went for a small vacation with her sisters and yes….the inevitable did happen! Her house was broken into and among the various items that were stolen were her prized crockeries including 52 of her 77 serving trays! My mother is now adjusting to the life of simple living and high thinking while spending hours practicing how to keep her mouth shut!

You know how they say, that as time passes by, daughter’s become more like their mothers! Well there is a lot of truth in that as well! Having philosophized and lectured my mother about her lack of circumspect  and failure at being humble, I declare to the world, that yes…I am indeed writing more! So the fates decide, that this mother daughter pair are really thick-headed and they SO NEED A LESSON! Therefore one fine evening, I come back from work, make myself a cup of coffee and sit down to write. My guilt conscience was at its paroxysm, because, I had not touched my novel in more than 2 months and I was determined to make up for my slackness. I switched on the laptop and then DISASTER stuck!

My system had crashed. I do not know when and I do not know how, but it had crashed. All my files, notes, music…everything was wiped off from the damm system. After getting hysterical and hyperventilating for nearly 3 hours, during which my flat mate tried all recovery recipes from smelling salts to chocolate ice cream, I called the system repair guy. He gave the laptop back to me last night with a I-have-no-idea-what-you-did-but-there-is-nothing-I-can-do look. Oh! Wail! Oh! Horror! Why has the Lord forsaken me???

So what’s bright side, you ask??? Well, music and photographs I can recover…..thanks to iPods and Picassa. But more importantly the writing….well remember, how I said that I had not written in well over two months, well …..the last cut that I wrote, I had mailed it to a perspective publisher….so ITS ALL SAFE….in my Gmail. All my short stories are uploaded on Goodreads and thank the blog…well you know is a web-based portal……so really….no loss!!!! While I was bemoaning the fact that for 8 weeks, I was neglecting my craft, there seems to be a greater plan at work. Had I written in those weeks, after sending the work so far to the publisher, all would have been lost! For whatever reasons, not writing during that time was definitely fortunate incident!

Hence, enlightenment came to me and I decide –

  1. Keep my trap shut…especially if I am doing good stuff.
  2.  Hang in there…there is a reason behind all that happens, even if it’s not apparent immediately.
  3. Get a backup for your system….do not save everything on your desktop!