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Posts tagged ‘Family’

In Memorium….

It seems like yesterday that I was writing a similar post for my mum, but this time round it’s for my dad! After a prolonged bout of illness, Papa suffered from a brain hemorrhage on Monday evening and passed away Wednesday. He had been in a lot of pain lately and was but a shadow of his former self and now I know he is in a better place and in no pain. However the reality is still slowly sinking in and I keep thinking that he would just call me or ask me to make him tea or just generally lecture me of better savings schemes. He was the one who read to me when I was a little and in the words of Scout Finch, I do not remember when his moving fingers became my own words to read. He taught me to have an adventurous taste in food and all my wonderlusting came from him taking me on trips on when I was apparently 3 months old. My first wine was his present on my 18th birthday. We did not always agree and there were many difficult, trying moments and a lot my life choices were in rebellion to his actions. But he was my Dad and I cannot seem to forget the tall man who took the little girl by hand to the park every evening and brought her all the ice creams she could eat.

In the end, there was this eminently forgetful novel I read when I was 14 by Danielle Steel. The book was nothing, but the opening had this one poem about fathers and I always, since reading that novel, associated those lines with Papa. Therefore, I leave this post with those lines, in the memory of an unforgettable Daddy!

First Love,

First Son, or perhaps a precious daughter

their laughter swift and sweet,

his hand so sure,

his love so pure,

his loyalty to them amazing

his patience vast

and his heart wider than the heaven

the leaven of their lives

the bright sun in their skies

the one to whom they turn

the man for whom they burn, the light of love so bright

his wisdom always right,

his hands so strong, so seldom wrong,

so sweet, so near, so dear,

so much the hub of all,

and once upon a time so tall,

his love for them never waning,

always entertaining, handsome, dashing,

teaching, reaching for the stars,

driving funny cars,

a loving hand and heart,

for every lass and laddy,

beloved man, eternal friend,

how lucky you are sweet children,

to have him for your Daddy!

 

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to People

I know I have completely gone MIA after all those heavy words on being diligent and regular in my posts! I even bailed out on Cleo’s House of Mirth Read Along; a totally unheard of action. But life often gets in the way of our plans and despite laying them out well and meticulously, a gust of wind is all it takes to make the towers go crumbling. And that is what happened with me. While work continued to be what it is; a tight rope walk. balancing and managing people and relationships instead of focusing on the work, things in my personal life took a turn for worse! There were much drama both in my sister’s life and mine, breaking the rhythm and pushing us into turbulence, from which we barely emerged. And then what as everyone knows is my favorite month December dawned, my father had to be hospitalized, not once but twice. The emotional, physical and financial exhaustion of this last year is enough to make one pack one’s bag and head to the mountains for a life of a hermit! However , as I have been told, and I know from experience, that you cannot run away from your problems. You have to stand tall and face it and face it I shall and live to fight another day!

So here is to good will, hope and happiness for all of us from everything that worries us, bogs us down or just saddens us! To good times and good vibes in 2020!

Dear friends, this year was not real great.
There’s no need to enumerate
Just how gloomy it’s appearing.
But Ever-better days are nearing!
Though dark nightmares be distinguished,
Still the light is not extinguished
By the darkness crowding ’round it.
Find hope’s advent by the sound it
Makes somewhere out in the distance:
Bells that ring with soft insistence,
Hoofbeats, voices singing faintly,
Hymns unearthly, almost saintly,
Mailmen’s footsteps, babies’ crying,
Wings of angels quickly flying,
News worth calling from the steeple, “Peace on earth, good will to people.”

– Ian Frazier, The New Yorker

India Through The Ink….

It cannot be easy to write about a country or a people, not your own. It becomes even more challenging if you have not lived in the country you are writing about or not interacted with the indigenous population of the same country. Even when you belong to the country, it is becomes difficult to capture the all encompassing details of the land and its people; therefore for someone not belonging to the same land, it remains an arduous and difficult task. And should that country be India, with it melting pot culture, checkered history going back to 7000 BCE and more than 100 languages, this task becomes infinitely more complex, difficult and challenging! And yet, authors, scholars and travelers around the world insist on writing about this country.

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If they have the brilliance of a William Dalrymple then, they settle down in the country and write prodigiously about it. Scholars like John Keay and the late AL Basham study the country for years before penning something so profound as India – A History and Michel Palin treks all over Himalayas before writing a book with the same name! I may not always agree with what they put forth, but I do respect the amount of love, patience and sheer effort into putting together, factually and not fictionally, that is not intrinsically their own. And this is key to the appreciation of these works; these authors do not have the luxury of editing something that they do not understand or cannot explain, into a “creative license”. The nature of their genres makes this impossible and hence my love and respect for these authors increase manifolds, especially for those writing non fiction, even if some of them, get the picture completely wrong!

Fiction however is whole different story; for years, now, India and her people have continued to fire the imagination of the world and especially the West. We have had many authors writing about India for a while, but with the British Colonial empire, India literally exploded into English literature like never before. Rudyard Kipling with all his love-hate for the the country, gave the world Jungle Book and Kim, both novels rooted in every essence to what this country is and stood for. EM Forster brought forth the racial divide, and the mounting tensions in the early 20th century India, in his polemic A Passage to India and Paul Scott captured the pain and the violence that tore apart a nation in the wake of partition of India, in his seminal, A Jewel in the Crown. And then, there stands, my personal favorite and the one author who despite her hereditary, truly was an Indian at heart, for she wrote of this land and her people, like she was one and her books resonate with the very feel and smell of India, as the country comes alive and grabs the reader – the inimitable Ms. MM Kaye. Not all her predecessors or even successors could write like Ms. Kaye wrote nor feel the power of her love, that made her stories authentic and Indian in spirit. But most of these authors belonged to an era where the understanding of the world and all her people was still limited; race and color still made a difference and there was significant paucity of information, which makes one more tolerant on the misses or the misinterpretation, and in case of Mr. Kipling, appreciate the story, without delving too much; not quite easy, but can be done!

This fascination with India in fiction, seems to found new resurgence in the 21st century and suddenly, I am astounded by the number of books based on India, has Indian protagonist or has roots in some way or form to this country. I was presently surprised by East of the Sun by Julia Gregson , tracing the lives of three young memsahibs to India as they set out as part of the “Fishing Fleet” to find suitable husbands. While historically, the book did not always jive, it did capture the society and morals of 1920s India beautifully, but the number of Indians were limited in this novel and I am not sure how the author would have fared with India and Indians as the main theme instead of a backdrop! Let me illustrate my point –  Life of Pi by Yann Martel and Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts, despite their astounding commercial success, left me cold in so many ways! And herein lies my irritation with modern authors; in these days of easy travel and access to all kinds of information, to constantly cater and pander to what is obvious crass commercialization of the traditional stereotypes of India is just astoundingly disappointing, if not downright infuriating! The first one has Spirituality and Tigers and a peace loving protagonist (gosh! what surprise!) and the second one goes to the other extreme of spirituality and slums and poverty! I am not even getting into books like The Art of Inheriting Secrets, by Barbra O’ Neil that has a Indian woman following her Aristocratic English noblewoman lover to England and then marrying an Indian man in a remote English countryside in 1940s England. In a country where woman are struggling to get their basic rights of education and independence established in 2019, that flight of fancy in 1940s is really taking the “poetic license” to fantasy. I am not denying the existence of strong women in 1940s, several existed including my grandmothers, nor am I denying the existence of homosexuality or marrying a man to keep up appearances, but all of that together in that time and age; that is way far out even for the West, but for the East, that is an impossibility of infinite proportions! Then of course we have the male modern Indian protagonist, who of course has curly hair, as Indian men never have straight hair and his brown ageless skin…what?? Also conveniently, the protagonist sprouts Rabindranath Tagore and his most cliche poems at the drop of a hat, because, of course our author never bothered to find a poet beyond the only one known in outside of India or even his other famous poems, besides the first one that comes up in Google. And just to add more spice, (of course its India so it has to have spice!) we have Indian restaurant and India food popping up every two pages! What really gets me is that even established and justly popular authors like Lucinda Riley fall into this trap of taking on a shallow understanding and wrapping up the story in all the trappings of exotic India. So in her, The Midnight Rose, where we of course have princesses and a handmaiden who has an affair and an illegitimate child and whose grandson again falls into the cliched curly haired brown skin hero. Ms. Riley took the lives of two real life Indian princesses, Princess Indira and her daughter, Princess Gayatri Devi and mercilessly intermixes and changes their lives, which in reality would have changed a very strong fabric of Indian history and Indian feminist movement. Again her protagonist while strong and strong Indian women were a reality but illegitimacy in 1920s India was not something that would have dealt with aplomb that Ms. Riley deals with, especially if the child has mixed parentage. In India where caste and affinity to your ethnic heritage, still form a large part of every day lives, a child of foreign parentage, in the early years of 1920s would have caused a havoc,  no matter which remote hilly village you hide in; infact more so there than in the bigger cities. These nuances, which are critical to understand and then portray the socio-cultural-historical narrative based out of this country is unfortunately getting more and more trampled in the competition to build a intriguing plot line with an exotic enough setting to seduce the reader. These books continue to impress upon the audience of the world, what has been stereotyped a thousand times about this country – tea estates, princesses, animals, slums, spirituality and such like! These books at then end of the day fail to bring forth, the actual India, which is a mix of all these things and so much more – there are good and bad people, there swaths of deserts and snow capped mountains, there is spirituality but there are also scholars, and while we love animals, we also can be kind and mean in equal measures and this has nothing to do with any of us being related to royal ancestry or not!!! To end, if you really want to read to about India, stick to non fiction or Indian authors or English authors circa 1850-1950s!

While I Was Away…

Since I started blogging some six years ago, this perhaps has been my longest hiatus from the blog-sphere. Illness, Death, Work pressure, nothing  stopped me from posting atleast one or twice a month. But since August of this year, life has been taking funny turns, leaving me with very little time to do anything but just get up and show up. It’s not been all bad, but not all good and for sure it has all been very very time consuming and at time both physically and emotionally draining. My reading has taken a back seat like never before; I did not even participate in the October Readathon, an event unheard off sine I discovered it  years ago and let’s not even get into blogging misses lately. The last novel I finished was on more than a month  back that too on a long flight. Life has been thrown off balance completely;so what transpired – plenty

  • I got promoted ..Yay
  • With promotion came double truck load of work and exhaustive travel….some yay and not so yay
  • Dad was in and out of the hospital for a while….definitely not a yay moment
  • My sister went through a terrible break up….for sure not yay
  • And…..some other very exhaustive personal stuff, which we an discuss when we know more

Life briefly speaking has been very very roller coaster like and I am not even sure we are finally settled. However I am trying to get some rhythm and regularity going and blogging is for sure part of that rhythm as is reading…… so here we go again.

How have you all been? What all have I missed? Please do drop by with some comments on how you all have fared and I hope to catch up with your blogs/posts soon.

The Big Fat Indian Wedding Contd.

And I am back with more photographs as promised in my last post. These photographs capture the last phase of the big fat Indian wedding that saw a mix of North, South and East Indian rituals, besides enough chaos and cacophony to last one’s life time. I have said this often, that in India it is never about two people getting married, but rather two families becoming one, to cause more stress, more confusion and somehow surprisingly considering the confusion, a whole lot of fun! Once again the photographs are all copyright of Durga Natrajan, my second cousin and my first partner in crime!

Part -3 :: Grihapravasham – This happens the day after the wedding. The bride comes to her new home for the first and is welcomed by all the senior women of the groom’s house especially the mother. Once the bride crosses the “threshold” so to speak, the family and close friends come around to give her gifts and bless her in the traditional Hindu style.

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Part -4 :: Reception – The final gala night of celebrations! Food, Drinks, Dinner and may be dance….you get the drift! The last night of non-stop partying before we all settle down to our boring regular lives, until someone else decides to walk down the alter!

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Thats all for tonight folks! Next blog will definitely be bookish!

The Big Fat Indian Wedding….

I know I had planned this post long back; however I was kind of dependent on the photographer. Immediately after the wedding she moved houses and then was  busy setting up her new home and then getting the Wi-Fi Connection going, before finally sharing the photos. Then I got stuck preparing for the interview and the home renovation and other stuff. Finally our stars align and I bring to you the photographs from my cousin’s wedding. All the photos are taken by my second cousin and first partner in crime – Durga Natrajan. Durga….thanks a ton for letting me share these memories.

Part -1 :: Mehendi Night – This event happens before the night of the wedding. The ladies of the both the houses get mehendi which is henna patterns worked on their hands and feet before the singing dancing starts. Mehendi is considered  auspicious and supposed to symbolize the sacrosanity of the marriage.

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Part 2 :: The Wedding -This was a Hindu wedding – but a mix of North India/South India and East India rituals. The cornerstone of this ceremony are the vows exchanged by the bride and groom in front of the holy fire, post which they are considered man and wife.

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There are two more ceremonies post the wedding, but I will keep them for next week, considering this already maybe an overdose of the big fat Indian wedding

On The Glories of Summer and Reading in May….

Aha! Here is May and my least favorite season has begun – Summers! How I hate thee! When I was in school, we used to get two months off, because of the blazing heat made going to school quite impossible; that atleast gave this season a saving grace. But as an adult, there are no such deliciously long vacation, only the dry, unforgiving burning earth and the effort to live life as normally as possible in such pleasant conditions!! To think there are some people who actually eulogize about Indian Summers….they are only worth eulogizing when you are sitting in cozy cottage way up in Himalayas!

Anyway, I can continue in this vein, but that will not cut short this weather, so bear it I will; though I absolutely refuse to be stoic about it! Moving on to other items of discussion, the big fat Indian wedding is finally over. Was it nerve wracking? Absolutely! Did I have fun? Absolutely! Had a blast! It was wonderful meeting old friends, reviving old relations and generally merry making with people you like and love! But now that it is over, I must confess, I am really glad to be back to my more sedate pursuits. I came back late Sunday, and my reading has resumed enough vigor to finally give me hope!

Speaking of reading, Reading Plans for the last couple of months have become a farce. I have barely been able to read anything and all my books from March and April are now carried over in May. Reading for last two months had become more of an in-between activity, instead of the main event. However, now that things are slowing down, I am hoping (fingers crossed) I will be able to resume significant momentum in finishing nearly a dozen unread/half read stuff. I do have an interview looming for which I need to prepare (Yup! Only I will apply for jobs that require hard core studying!) especially stuff like Research Methodology and Six Sigma principles, but I am not going to lose sleep over it and hopefully this prep, should not be too much of a herculean task, that takes me away from my books too much!

So what am I finally reading in May? Well, like I said, I continue with books left over from last two months, but there are one or two additions! (Ya! Trust me to take on more, before I finish what I already have on my plate!) I am doing the Beowulf Read Along with Cleo. I am so loving this poem, this paean of all that is brave and virtuous! I am also doing the Gone with the Wind Read Along all through May-August with Connie. When I read it as a teen, I did not like it. When I re-read it last year, I seem to like it better, therefore it made sense to try and read it a third time and discover if there are some nuances I have missed (I have already discovered a few). Finally, I have been neglecting my Reading England Project grievously over the last couple of weeks, so I had to finally start some kind of remediation and have decided to read Howard’s End by EM Forester this month!

That’s all for today folks! I know I promised some pictures of grand mad wedding and the official photographers assure me that it will be delivered by this Saturday. Hopefully my next post will be an onslaught of Indian Wedding pandemonium!

P.S. Cleo….the bride did dance, but she did not prepare, so it was all impromptu!

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