It’s now nearly 3 months since Dad passed away and at times I still feel like I am living in some suspended reality! The Lockdown and total change of life as we know across geographies has added more to this sense of unreal or living in parallel universe, but the fact is, this is the new normal and we all have to adapt to it.

Sometimes it feels like there is gaping hole in my remembrances of 2020; like March and April never happened, like I did not lose both my parents in a gap of 4 years; like I am not grappling with medical bills longer than a restaurant menu; like I have not really stepped outside my apartment for 3 months and more! And yet like I said all of this did happen and is still happening!

β€œImpression, Sunrise,” Claude Monet, 1872

I guess I just needed some time away to truly understand the twists in the tale that life is constantly throwing up at me. There were days when I just got up from the bed, opened my laptop; completed my work and then went back to bed. I was not reading and there were times that I do not recollect really what I was doing – there was an inertia which felt like all the activities were being forced on me, even the ones that I loved the most like reading and cooking and I just did not want anything. But whoever said Time does heal, was truly right and slowly things again started falling into place. My work though crazy as always, started making sense, I started cooking again and finally I returned to books with a new found love. And then there were people old and new, who showered me with love and attention and suddenly life was making sense again! It was but natural that I would come back to blogging sooner than later and then suddenly I realized that it was time to start again. 2019-2020 has not been kind and there were terrible heartaches; but there is always hope of the future and with that, one has to, one must move on! So here I am back again and it feels so good to bang away the keyboard with all the force writing whatever comes to the mind, knowing I do not need to hold back. I am finally free….

11 thoughts on “And I am Back…..

  1. Mudpuddle says:

    shock is a funny/peculiar business… i just finished a post about a guy who lost his wife in a London bombing raid. he was a pilot who was in shock to the extent that he tried to kill himself while piloting jets but got medals and promotions instead… this went on for several years until another dramatic experience woke him up…. (mudpuddlesoup2.blogspot.com) humans are pretty unaware of what effects their brains, i think, and it’s good to give yourself a lot of rope about responsibilities, duties and the like… take care…

    1. cirtnecce says:

      Thank You so much for those kind and encouraging words! I have been responsible for so long; it feels kind of weird ….but it’s all good!

  2. great book study says:

    I hear you, Cirtnecce. I’m not dealing w/ loss, but I had something else happen that just took we away for awhile, made time stand still, and brought me back a little different. And the weird times we live in makes it too surreal. Glad to see you back. Your life experiences will cause you to see things through new eyes from now on.

    1. cirtnecce says:

      Hey Ruth…I am sorry to hear things are not all right and yes, the weird times we live just makes the whole thing even more weird! I hope you things come together for you soon. While some life experiences like you said make us see things in new perspective, I also hope the future brings you only those experiences that are happy and peaceful! hang in there my friend!

  3. Brona says:

    Welcome back. The power of writing again is something isn’t it? I could see it and feel it as I read your post – as you moved from bewilderment and grief to a sense of purpose, release and finally freedom! How empowering for you!
    Take care my friend and take heart.
    Thinking of you xo

    1. cirtnecce says:

      I agree completely and the funny part is I did not notice the uptake until you mentioned; I was just doing the going with the flow thing πŸ˜‰ but it has been stressful and I am glad to back on my feet! I am lucky to have all of you around, cheering me on! πŸ™‚

  4. Glad to see you back! I’m sorry for all that you’ve been through. ❀

    1. cirtnecce says:

      Thanks Jean! it’s go good to be back!

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