It seems like yesterday that I was writing a similar post for my mum, but this time round it’s for my dad! After a prolonged bout of illness, Papa suffered from a brain hemorrhage on Monday evening and passed away Wednesday. He had been in a lot of pain lately and was but a shadow of his former self and now I know he is in a better place and in no pain. However the reality is still slowly sinking in and I keep thinking that he would just call me or ask me to make him tea or just generally lecture me of better savings schemes. He was the one who read to me when I was a little and in the words of Scout Finch, I do not remember when his moving fingers became my own words to read. He taught me to have an adventurous taste in food and all my wonderlusting came from him taking me on trips on when I was apparently 3 months old. My first wine was his present on my 18th birthday. We did not always agree and there were many difficult, trying moments and a lot my life choices were in rebellion to his actions. But he was my Dad and I cannot seem to forget the tall man who took the little girl by hand to the park every evening and brought her all the ice creams she could eat.

In the end, there was this eminently forgetful novel I read when I was 14 by Danielle Steel. The book was nothing, but the opening had this one poem about fathers and I always, since reading that novel, associated those lines with Papa. Therefore, I leave this post with those lines, in the memory of an unforgettable Daddy!

First Love,

First Son, or perhaps a precious daughter

their laughter swift and sweet,

his hand so sure,

his love so pure,

his loyalty to them amazing

his patience vast

and his heart wider than the heaven

the leaven of their lives

the bright sun in their skies

the one to whom they turn

the man for whom they burn, the light of love so bright

his wisdom always right,

his hands so strong, so seldom wrong,

so sweet, so near, so dear,

so much the hub of all,

and once upon a time so tall,

his love for them never waning,

always entertaining, handsome, dashing,

teaching, reaching for the stars,

driving funny cars,

a loving hand and heart,

for every lass and laddy,

beloved man, eternal friend,

how lucky you are sweet children,

to have him for your Daddy!

 

24 thoughts on “In Memorium….

  1. I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad passed away 5 years ago in similar circumstances after several years coping with the aftermath of small strokes. It was a blow, but I felt glad that he wasn’t suffering any more. The pain does deaden but it takes a while. Be kind to yourself. x

    1. cirtnecce says:

      I know exactly what you mean; I miss him but he is so much more comfortable now! And I will eventually get used to the new normal!

  2. mudpuddle says:

    so sorry to hear about your dad passing… hard to know what to say… just “condolences”, i guess…

  3. Helen says:

    Oh, I’m so sorry, Cirtnecce. That’s a lovely poem and it sounds as though you have lots of special memories of your dad. Take care. x

    1. cirtnecce says:

      Thank You! I always thought this poem was a reflection of Papa and seemed a fitting eulogy!

  4. great book study says:

    Sorry to hear this, Cirtnecce. It is precious that you have beautiful and loving memories of him.

    1. cirtnecce says:

      Yes and those memories are something that somehow makes it all a little bit better! 🙂

  5. Jillian says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss, & all you’re going through, Cirtnecce. Here’s a hug. x

  6. I’m so sorry, Cirtnecce — that is so hard, and you will miss him so much. ❤

    1. cirtnecce says:

      Thank You Jean! I am missing him terribly but I know he is better now and that is a big consolation!

  7. Stefanie says:

    Oh Cirtnecce, so so sorry. Big hugs to you and your family.

  8. Marian says:

    Cirtnecce, I’m really sorry to hear this. Thank you for sharing those beautiful memories about your dad. Take care. ❤

  9. Cleo Ross says:

    Oh Sis, my heart just aches for you! I’m so sorry! I hope you will find joy in the memories you have of him. My mom passed away the day before your dad, so I know how you must be feeling right now. Sadness and grief but also joy mingled together. Take care of yourself. I have many things to do and take care of but I will try to email soon! Lots of love and hugs! ~ Cleo ~

    1. cirtnecce says:

      My sister, I am so sorry for you as well! Seems like our fates are walking down similar roads. But I agree with you, while we are sad, at losing a parent and nothing can quite make up for it, it’s better they are relived of all the pain. You take care of yourself! Big Hug! I too will email soon!

  10. Brona says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss, but how wonderful that you can honour your fathers memory with such lovely words. I lost my father in law 2 yrs ago & its all the happy memories that my husband & I shared with him that still help us today.
    Thinking of you & sending hugs Bron xo

    1. cirtnecce says:

      Thank You so much! You are right, its the happy memories that keep us going!

  11. I am so sorry for your loss, and I wish that I could offer you more than a typed comment. To lose a good parent leaves a gap that will never be filled, but it is a gap that you become accustomed to living with as time passes – it is more than 20 years since my father died and I still miss him but I realise that his time to be here has passed and the world has continued to turn,

    1. cirtnecce says:

      Jane, your typed words bring me a lot of comfort so do not underestimate their power! Thank You for sharing your experience and it helps to know that things do fall into place after a while. Thank You so much!

  12. great book study says:

    I’m just reading this today — I’ve not been online much — and very sad to read that you have been dealing with this loss. I’m so sorry. Keep clinging to those beautiful memories you have of your dad.

    1. cirtnecce says:

      Thank You for your thoughts Ruth! I appreciate it! I am doing much better!

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